Tate's Story
I finally finished writing down the labor and delivery story with Tate. I started proofing it and got bored since I've been staring at it for two months now trying to get it done. Also, it's pretty graphic, and embarrassing, and indeed long. Read at your own risk. :)
I was tired of being pregnant, and at the same time, terrified to give birth again and have another little baby. After Baylee was born, Doctor Baxter told us to expect early babies. I think I must’ve expected it a little too much. 33 weeks and 1 day hit (the day Baylee was born) and I sent out a text to my family that I had officially made it farther in Tate’s pregnancy than I had with Baylee’s. I was pretty excited, and happy that the baby could be a little healthier. I also think that is the point that I decided I could try to start progressing things, slowly, of course. And if he wasn’t born by week 35, I was really going to start working. And I did.
35 weeks came and left and I was still huge! I started taking the whole “bed rest, house arrest” thing a whole lot more lightly. I guess I never really did do too well at it anyway. Except I was huge and tired all the time, that helped keep me off my feet. We went in for our 36 week check up. Everything was looking good and we were dilated to a 2, 80% (?) effaced. That made me happy. The doctor told us some horror stories about people going in a bouncy jeep ride, or taking castor oil, all these things women do to try to induce labor, gone wrong. Of course I had my own plans, none of which involved jeeps or castor oil. (I read it irritates your bowels and that’s why it may cause contractions for some people, and I was not about to risk giving birth with diarrhea.)
Now between 36 and 37 weeks there was the issue of the Fausetts’ Father Son Golf Tournament. They do it every year for Fathers’ Day. Tee time was scheduled in the afternoon on June 23rd. I did not have a good feeling about that! I had a feeling for the longest time that Tate would be born that very Saturday. I don’t know why, but I did. I even wrote it on the calendar out of desperation to be done being pregnant. I went into the bathroom and cried for quite some time after I heard about golf. I knew that I could ask Dustin to stay and he would without any questions, but I didn’t want to do that to him because I also knew how important it was to him! I felt like I was the cause of us missing out on SO much that summer, all because I was pregnant. I really didn’t want to be the cause that Dustin missed golf!
June 22nd, we went in for our 37 week check up. I was pumped. I remember thinking, “I could have a baby today.” I went in hoping I was dilated to at least a three, but hopefully more. Then maybe the doctor would say, “Let’s get to the hospital and have this baby.” Then I could have a calm, happy story. It didn’t work out that way. Instead he told me that I was still at a 2 and 80%. There was absolutely zero progression from the week before. I went into a slight depression after hearing that. I cried on our way home. I had my hopes set so high.
Let’s just say I was determined to see my doctor in the hospital before his office! That night I set my own labor inducing plans into action. I went straight to plan B since plan A wasn’t as effective this time around as it was with Baylee. I did a FIRM workout video before bed, and to no avail, all it resulted in was a massive, sore body. No contractions. Then, Saturday morning, plan A, also to no avail. I was pretty tired, and a little sad, so I gave up and decided we’d use what little time we did have left without a baby to go to Seven Peaks one last time.
We laid Baylee down for her nap around one or two o’clock and told her when she woke up we’d go to the “pool park”. She was very excited. After she went down, however, I started having some interesting pains right in my abdomen. I had been reading a lot online about contractions and read in a few places that if the pain was in your belly then it was false labor, true labor was felt all the way around to your back. (Still don’t know about that.) Also, if you change positions and the pain goes away, false labor.
I was lying on the couch reading a book when I decided to test a few things. I started timing the alleged contractions and they were pretty regularly four or five minutes apart. I moved from side to side on the couch seeing if they would go away and they didn’t. I texted my mom asking her if I would know without any doubt if I was in labor. I didn’t hear back from her so I decided to call, just in case. She said she didn’t know but it didn’t sound like too big of a deal if I was able to sit through them just fine. I agreed but gave her a heads up in case we needed her at the hospital. I decided to wait it out for a little while and see if anything changed. I seriously didn’t want to go to the hospital just to be sent home an hour later! I wanted to be sure I was going to have a baby if I was going to go to the hospital.
I got up to do the dishes, figuring it was a much bigger position change to be on my feet and moving around instead of trying to get comfortable laying down. I kept an eye on the clock while I cleaned the kitchen and the contractions were still pretty consistently four-ish minutes apart. I thought that it wasn’t real labor because I was still able to do the dishes during my contractions, not just in between.
After I finished the dishes I finally decided to go do my hair and makeup. I had put it off because I didn’t want to bother doing it if we were just going to go to Seven Peaks, but if I was having a baby I wanted to look somewhat decent. I guess getting ready was me finally making my decision that we were going to go to the hospital, just to at least see what was going on.
Baylee woke up while I was getting ready and the first thing she said when we walked in was, “A go to a pool park now!” I felt so bad! We had to explain to her that mommy needed to go to the hospital and that just maybe we’d get to meet baby brother. Luckily, we had rehearsed this with her a little in previous weeks, that when it’s time to go to the hospital we go, no whining, no nothing.
I kept track of my contractions while I was getting ready too. (I know, I know, everyone thinks I’m an idiot by now for still not knowing I was in labor, but whatever, I didn’t want to get my hopes up!) I still didn’t know for sure that I wanted to go to the hospital. Dustin told me we could pray about it and after the prayer we could decide what to do.
I was finishing my hair when the contractions were getting much worse. I couldn’t do my hair during the contractions anymore. I had to wait for them to pass. I would stand there gripping the counter and leaning on it while moving my legs around like a goon and curling my toes. The contractions were about three minutes apart by then and they would last about 25 seconds. I would rush for the two and a half minutes I had before the next hit would come. The whole time I was getting ready, Dustin was too. He was packing the car with our bags, packed a bag for Baylee to take with grandma and got her dressed and ready.
Dustin came into the bathroom to check on me and he came in right in the middle of one of my contractions. I looked at him and told him, “I don’t need to pray about it anymore, I want to go to the hospital. Now.”
We got in the car, but I had to put Dustin’s hospital gift I made for him in the trunk. I remember shutting the trunk and just waiting behind the car for my contraction to pass before I got in the car. Contractions were two to three minutes apart, but as soon as we started driving I got up past six minutes before the next contraction hit. During that six minutes I was very concerned that I wasn’t having contractions anymore. I told Dustin that maybe we shouldn’t be going, that it wasn’t a good sign that all the sudden it’s a large spread. Then the contraction finally came and it was a big one! I was really grateful we were en route. I definitely preferred more contractions in between if the long ones were going to hurt as bad as that did.
We got to the hospital and when I got out of the car I waited in the parking lot for yet another contraction to pass. We had contemplated calling my mom to come and pick up Baylee and let her know that we were going to the hospital but figured it would be best if we checked in and knew what was going on. We walked in and nobody was at the information desk so we were kind of lurking around near the elevators when a guy with a carseat comes walking up to the elevators. We asked him where we go to have a baby and he told us. We headed up to the labor and delivery floor and called from the phone outside to the nurses’ station. I told the nurse, “I think I might be in labor.” They buzzed us right in.
We got to the nurses’ station and she had me sign a paper before admitting us back. My hand was so shaky that I could barely sign. Then she buzzed us back, only I couldn’t move. I asked her if I could have just a minute to let the contraction pass. She was kind and understanding and waited then buzzed us back again when I was ready. We walked straight to our room, it was all very calm and there was almost nobody around. They told me to get in my robe and the nurse would be right in. I changed and the nurse still wasn’t there so I ran to the bathroom really fast. I didn’t want to be all hooked up and then have to pee, how embarrassing!
When I came out the nurse was already in the room putting information into the computer. I got into the bed and she asked me a few questions then she asked my favorite question of all time, “Do you want an epidural?” Oh heck yes I do! She asked if I wanted one right away. We were kind of taken aback by that part of the question. We weren’t used to having options and we didn’t really know anything. Baylee was so fast and unexpected that things just happened. Dustin asked how long they last and she told us that they are continual, so if you run out you can just push the button and more is pumped right in. We both said yes! I absolutely wanted that, and why not get it right away? She told me that she would finish with questions and stuff later so that we could get my IV and get my epidural. I remember thinking, “Wow, she’s great! I really love her right now!”
She checked me to see where we were and I was at a “Five with a bulging water”. I couldn’t believe it! I was just so happy I wasn’t at a two or three. I asked Dustin to call my mom and have her come since we knew I was really in labor now. He called her at 5:29pm and she was on her way. The nurse left the room right after she checked me to get the things for the IV and grab the anesthesiologist. Right after she left, my water broke. I told Dustin and we weren’t really sure what to do. I didn’t know if I should push the call button and tell her or just wait for her to get back. We decided to just wait since she said she was coming right back.
As soon as the nurse opened the door I told her that my water had broke. She was very calm and opened the door again to call to another nurse, asking her to grab a tray, “In case she goes fast.” I remember thinking, “Ha! I’m not going fast, I’m getting my epidural!” She came by my bed to get my IV in right away while the other nurse came in with the tray and everything for delivery. Well it was right then that the really hard contractions hit. Supposedly hard labor begins as soon as your water breaks and things move pretty quickly. Well I found out that this is true for me. The nurse was about to stick me with the needle when I told her that I thought another contraction was coming and I really wasn’t sure I’d be able to hold still through it, so she might want to wait. As the contraction came though I changed my mind very quickly! I wanted the epidural as fast as humanly possible! I told her to just do it. She asked if I wanted her to talk me through what she was doing. “Nope, just do it!” And she tried. She stuck me twice, very carefully, in my left hand and said something about them breaking. She said I have great veins so she wasn’t sure why she couldn’t get one to stick. I was literally screaming out in pain at this point, the contractions hurt so badly. And that same nurse that I loved just a few minutes ago, I was now trying to hold back my profanities aimed at her.
I kept asking when I could get my epidural and they told me that the anesthesiologist was literally right outside the door just waiting to be told to come in and do the dang thing, so essentially, as soon as my IV was in. They said that the other nurse was really good at getting IVs in so they had her come over and give it a shot. She stuck my right hand on the first try, while I was gripping the bed rail and screaming. She was pretty good. Yay, hooray, my IV was finally in, it was time for my epidural. Nope. They needed to check me first and make sure I wasn’t complete. They told me that they need to check me before they could give me my epidural. I started crying and pleading with them not to check me, to just give me my epidural!! Even if I didn’t get an epidural I did NOT want them to touch me! They finally convinced me that they wouldn’t touch me they would just look and see if he was crowning. I agreed but still didn’t want them even touching my legs to open them up, and then one sneaky nurse checked me anyway. “She’s complete.” No other words have ever hurt so much! In my mind I started cursing out the nurse for not getting my IV in the first time. I started cursing out myself too for doing my stupid hair that was now just matted to my head from sweat. If I could’ve just saved a few minutes, I could’ve had an epidural.
During all this time, Baylee was still with us too. I felt so horrid! I still do! It makes me want to cry thinking about Bays seeing her mom like that. She was sitting on the couch right next to my bed. Things were happening so fast that grandma hadn’t made it to the hospital yet. Sometime in between me getting my IV and hearing that wretched death sentence, they asked if we wanted Baylee out of the room. I said, “Yes, I don’t want her to see this!” The nurse took poor, little Baylee out in the hall and offered her some cookies. Baylee had just been sitting on the couch the whole time, sucker in one hand, daddy’s phone in the other, staring at mommy who was screaming out in pain. Poor girl looked so concerned. I was so grateful for the nurses for taking her out.
It was seriously a circus in my room! I went from having one nurse in there and everything perfectly calm, to having about a dozen people I don’t know in my room. For all I know the door was left wide open for passer bys to observe. I kept my eyes closed almost the whole time. They never told me to push or anything though, so I was confused. I didn’t know if there was a doctor there ready to catch the baby or not, because the last time I had opened my eyes I saw one doctor taking his robe and gloves off so a different doctor could put them on. I figured they weren’t ready, but Tate was. I asked them when I was supposed to push and they told me whenever you feel like it. Everything was so different from the last time I’d given birth.
But I was too afraid to push. The nurse finally told me next time I felt a contraction, she wanted me to take my hands off the rail and grab my legs to push. I really thought I was going to die if I let go of that rail. I finally opened my eyes again to look the nurse in the eyes and say, “I feel like I’m going to poo.” I’d heard that giving birth feels that way, but I was convinced that the doctor would not be catching a baby. She told me it was normal and to push. I suffered through another contraction before I reluctantly moved my hands to my legs. The next contraction came and I pushed, hard. I think the only reason I finally pushed was because the nurses told me it would help me feel better if I started pushing. Each push and contraction was accompanied by my shrill screams. (I was so embarrassed after.) I think it was the next contraction when I felt a little bit of relief, his head and a whole lot of fluid came out. Next push and out comes his body, and of course, more fluid. Dustin told me later that I splashed pretty good, even got my pillow. The doctor asked me if I wanted to open my eyes. I didn’t. I was too tired.
He was born at 5:50 pm. Six pounds, five ounces. 19 inches long.
They took him over to the side of the room to check him. Apparently they had to resuscitate him, he wasn’t breathing on his own. But, they got him breathing and he was a healthy baby! I finally opened my eyes to see Dustin. He had taken my phone to take some videos and pictures of Tate so I could see. Then they brought him to me all wrapped up and put him in my arms! I was so happy I got to hold my baby! We waited two days to hold Baylee, which for new parents feels like an eternity! I didn’t hold him for long though, I asked Dustin to take him because I was so shaky. I was afraid I was going to drop him or something I was trembling uncontrollably. I asked the nurse if I could get some sort of drugs now and she got me some right away, and water, and my Aunt Annie’s ring that fell off. She told us that the shakes were normal. Then I could hear crying in the hallway. Baylee had been screaming the whole time wanting, “A dad hold you!” Dustin called my mom and she was just outside the hospital. I got stitched up and then they let in grandma and Baylee. Baylee got to meet baby brother for the first time. It was fun to see. She was a little reserved, maybe unsure.
After things settled down in my room, Dustin said, “I’m surprised you didn’t swear.” I told him that I thought about it, but I really wanted to curse after it was all over. That was the weird part. But, I didn’t!
To sum up, I’ll never again labor at home! If I even think I’m having a contraction at all, we’re going to the hospital. We went from a five to a ten PLUS delivery in 20 minutes. I’m SO grateful that I made a bunch of phone calls beforehand to make sure I could deliver at the Provo hospital with my insurance. If we had had to go to Payson, we probably would’ve had a baby in the car or in the lobby. I’m so grateful that my mom’s California meeting that was scheduled before I was even pregnant was miraculously bumped up a week earlier. I’m also grateful that she chose to stay home from a reunion going on that weekend. I’m grateful Dustin didn’t go golfing. But ultimately, I think I’m grateful for the experience. I never would have chosen for myself to go natural. Now that I’ve been forced into it, I can say that I did it, and I survived. I don’t think I’d ever choose it again, but I might now that I’ve had a few months to forget the pain. Pros and cons both ways I feel. And I am ever grateful for a loving Father in Heaven to send us these beautiful spirits to look after. Tate was just the baby I needed right now, and Heavenly Father knew that. I love my family and I know that families are forever. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me, to an extent I can’t understand now, but he has given me an idea of how much by sending us His children.
I was tired of being pregnant, and at the same time, terrified to give birth again and have another little baby. After Baylee was born, Doctor Baxter told us to expect early babies. I think I must’ve expected it a little too much. 33 weeks and 1 day hit (the day Baylee was born) and I sent out a text to my family that I had officially made it farther in Tate’s pregnancy than I had with Baylee’s. I was pretty excited, and happy that the baby could be a little healthier. I also think that is the point that I decided I could try to start progressing things, slowly, of course. And if he wasn’t born by week 35, I was really going to start working. And I did.
35 weeks came and left and I was still huge! I started taking the whole “bed rest, house arrest” thing a whole lot more lightly. I guess I never really did do too well at it anyway. Except I was huge and tired all the time, that helped keep me off my feet. We went in for our 36 week check up. Everything was looking good and we were dilated to a 2, 80% (?) effaced. That made me happy. The doctor told us some horror stories about people going in a bouncy jeep ride, or taking castor oil, all these things women do to try to induce labor, gone wrong. Of course I had my own plans, none of which involved jeeps or castor oil. (I read it irritates your bowels and that’s why it may cause contractions for some people, and I was not about to risk giving birth with diarrhea.)
Now between 36 and 37 weeks there was the issue of the Fausetts’ Father Son Golf Tournament. They do it every year for Fathers’ Day. Tee time was scheduled in the afternoon on June 23rd. I did not have a good feeling about that! I had a feeling for the longest time that Tate would be born that very Saturday. I don’t know why, but I did. I even wrote it on the calendar out of desperation to be done being pregnant. I went into the bathroom and cried for quite some time after I heard about golf. I knew that I could ask Dustin to stay and he would without any questions, but I didn’t want to do that to him because I also knew how important it was to him! I felt like I was the cause of us missing out on SO much that summer, all because I was pregnant. I really didn’t want to be the cause that Dustin missed golf!
June 22nd, we went in for our 37 week check up. I was pumped. I remember thinking, “I could have a baby today.” I went in hoping I was dilated to at least a three, but hopefully more. Then maybe the doctor would say, “Let’s get to the hospital and have this baby.” Then I could have a calm, happy story. It didn’t work out that way. Instead he told me that I was still at a 2 and 80%. There was absolutely zero progression from the week before. I went into a slight depression after hearing that. I cried on our way home. I had my hopes set so high.
Let’s just say I was determined to see my doctor in the hospital before his office! That night I set my own labor inducing plans into action. I went straight to plan B since plan A wasn’t as effective this time around as it was with Baylee. I did a FIRM workout video before bed, and to no avail, all it resulted in was a massive, sore body. No contractions. Then, Saturday morning, plan A, also to no avail. I was pretty tired, and a little sad, so I gave up and decided we’d use what little time we did have left without a baby to go to Seven Peaks one last time.
We laid Baylee down for her nap around one or two o’clock and told her when she woke up we’d go to the “pool park”. She was very excited. After she went down, however, I started having some interesting pains right in my abdomen. I had been reading a lot online about contractions and read in a few places that if the pain was in your belly then it was false labor, true labor was felt all the way around to your back. (Still don’t know about that.) Also, if you change positions and the pain goes away, false labor.
I was lying on the couch reading a book when I decided to test a few things. I started timing the alleged contractions and they were pretty regularly four or five minutes apart. I moved from side to side on the couch seeing if they would go away and they didn’t. I texted my mom asking her if I would know without any doubt if I was in labor. I didn’t hear back from her so I decided to call, just in case. She said she didn’t know but it didn’t sound like too big of a deal if I was able to sit through them just fine. I agreed but gave her a heads up in case we needed her at the hospital. I decided to wait it out for a little while and see if anything changed. I seriously didn’t want to go to the hospital just to be sent home an hour later! I wanted to be sure I was going to have a baby if I was going to go to the hospital.
I got up to do the dishes, figuring it was a much bigger position change to be on my feet and moving around instead of trying to get comfortable laying down. I kept an eye on the clock while I cleaned the kitchen and the contractions were still pretty consistently four-ish minutes apart. I thought that it wasn’t real labor because I was still able to do the dishes during my contractions, not just in between.
After I finished the dishes I finally decided to go do my hair and makeup. I had put it off because I didn’t want to bother doing it if we were just going to go to Seven Peaks, but if I was having a baby I wanted to look somewhat decent. I guess getting ready was me finally making my decision that we were going to go to the hospital, just to at least see what was going on.
Baylee woke up while I was getting ready and the first thing she said when we walked in was, “A go to a pool park now!” I felt so bad! We had to explain to her that mommy needed to go to the hospital and that just maybe we’d get to meet baby brother. Luckily, we had rehearsed this with her a little in previous weeks, that when it’s time to go to the hospital we go, no whining, no nothing.
I kept track of my contractions while I was getting ready too. (I know, I know, everyone thinks I’m an idiot by now for still not knowing I was in labor, but whatever, I didn’t want to get my hopes up!) I still didn’t know for sure that I wanted to go to the hospital. Dustin told me we could pray about it and after the prayer we could decide what to do.
I was finishing my hair when the contractions were getting much worse. I couldn’t do my hair during the contractions anymore. I had to wait for them to pass. I would stand there gripping the counter and leaning on it while moving my legs around like a goon and curling my toes. The contractions were about three minutes apart by then and they would last about 25 seconds. I would rush for the two and a half minutes I had before the next hit would come. The whole time I was getting ready, Dustin was too. He was packing the car with our bags, packed a bag for Baylee to take with grandma and got her dressed and ready.
Dustin came into the bathroom to check on me and he came in right in the middle of one of my contractions. I looked at him and told him, “I don’t need to pray about it anymore, I want to go to the hospital. Now.”
We got in the car, but I had to put Dustin’s hospital gift I made for him in the trunk. I remember shutting the trunk and just waiting behind the car for my contraction to pass before I got in the car. Contractions were two to three minutes apart, but as soon as we started driving I got up past six minutes before the next contraction hit. During that six minutes I was very concerned that I wasn’t having contractions anymore. I told Dustin that maybe we shouldn’t be going, that it wasn’t a good sign that all the sudden it’s a large spread. Then the contraction finally came and it was a big one! I was really grateful we were en route. I definitely preferred more contractions in between if the long ones were going to hurt as bad as that did.
We got to the hospital and when I got out of the car I waited in the parking lot for yet another contraction to pass. We had contemplated calling my mom to come and pick up Baylee and let her know that we were going to the hospital but figured it would be best if we checked in and knew what was going on. We walked in and nobody was at the information desk so we were kind of lurking around near the elevators when a guy with a carseat comes walking up to the elevators. We asked him where we go to have a baby and he told us. We headed up to the labor and delivery floor and called from the phone outside to the nurses’ station. I told the nurse, “I think I might be in labor.” They buzzed us right in.
We got to the nurses’ station and she had me sign a paper before admitting us back. My hand was so shaky that I could barely sign. Then she buzzed us back, only I couldn’t move. I asked her if I could have just a minute to let the contraction pass. She was kind and understanding and waited then buzzed us back again when I was ready. We walked straight to our room, it was all very calm and there was almost nobody around. They told me to get in my robe and the nurse would be right in. I changed and the nurse still wasn’t there so I ran to the bathroom really fast. I didn’t want to be all hooked up and then have to pee, how embarrassing!
When I came out the nurse was already in the room putting information into the computer. I got into the bed and she asked me a few questions then she asked my favorite question of all time, “Do you want an epidural?” Oh heck yes I do! She asked if I wanted one right away. We were kind of taken aback by that part of the question. We weren’t used to having options and we didn’t really know anything. Baylee was so fast and unexpected that things just happened. Dustin asked how long they last and she told us that they are continual, so if you run out you can just push the button and more is pumped right in. We both said yes! I absolutely wanted that, and why not get it right away? She told me that she would finish with questions and stuff later so that we could get my IV and get my epidural. I remember thinking, “Wow, she’s great! I really love her right now!”
She checked me to see where we were and I was at a “Five with a bulging water”. I couldn’t believe it! I was just so happy I wasn’t at a two or three. I asked Dustin to call my mom and have her come since we knew I was really in labor now. He called her at 5:29pm and she was on her way. The nurse left the room right after she checked me to get the things for the IV and grab the anesthesiologist. Right after she left, my water broke. I told Dustin and we weren’t really sure what to do. I didn’t know if I should push the call button and tell her or just wait for her to get back. We decided to just wait since she said she was coming right back.
As soon as the nurse opened the door I told her that my water had broke. She was very calm and opened the door again to call to another nurse, asking her to grab a tray, “In case she goes fast.” I remember thinking, “Ha! I’m not going fast, I’m getting my epidural!” She came by my bed to get my IV in right away while the other nurse came in with the tray and everything for delivery. Well it was right then that the really hard contractions hit. Supposedly hard labor begins as soon as your water breaks and things move pretty quickly. Well I found out that this is true for me. The nurse was about to stick me with the needle when I told her that I thought another contraction was coming and I really wasn’t sure I’d be able to hold still through it, so she might want to wait. As the contraction came though I changed my mind very quickly! I wanted the epidural as fast as humanly possible! I told her to just do it. She asked if I wanted her to talk me through what she was doing. “Nope, just do it!” And she tried. She stuck me twice, very carefully, in my left hand and said something about them breaking. She said I have great veins so she wasn’t sure why she couldn’t get one to stick. I was literally screaming out in pain at this point, the contractions hurt so badly. And that same nurse that I loved just a few minutes ago, I was now trying to hold back my profanities aimed at her.
I kept asking when I could get my epidural and they told me that the anesthesiologist was literally right outside the door just waiting to be told to come in and do the dang thing, so essentially, as soon as my IV was in. They said that the other nurse was really good at getting IVs in so they had her come over and give it a shot. She stuck my right hand on the first try, while I was gripping the bed rail and screaming. She was pretty good. Yay, hooray, my IV was finally in, it was time for my epidural. Nope. They needed to check me first and make sure I wasn’t complete. They told me that they need to check me before they could give me my epidural. I started crying and pleading with them not to check me, to just give me my epidural!! Even if I didn’t get an epidural I did NOT want them to touch me! They finally convinced me that they wouldn’t touch me they would just look and see if he was crowning. I agreed but still didn’t want them even touching my legs to open them up, and then one sneaky nurse checked me anyway. “She’s complete.” No other words have ever hurt so much! In my mind I started cursing out the nurse for not getting my IV in the first time. I started cursing out myself too for doing my stupid hair that was now just matted to my head from sweat. If I could’ve just saved a few minutes, I could’ve had an epidural.
During all this time, Baylee was still with us too. I felt so horrid! I still do! It makes me want to cry thinking about Bays seeing her mom like that. She was sitting on the couch right next to my bed. Things were happening so fast that grandma hadn’t made it to the hospital yet. Sometime in between me getting my IV and hearing that wretched death sentence, they asked if we wanted Baylee out of the room. I said, “Yes, I don’t want her to see this!” The nurse took poor, little Baylee out in the hall and offered her some cookies. Baylee had just been sitting on the couch the whole time, sucker in one hand, daddy’s phone in the other, staring at mommy who was screaming out in pain. Poor girl looked so concerned. I was so grateful for the nurses for taking her out.
It was seriously a circus in my room! I went from having one nurse in there and everything perfectly calm, to having about a dozen people I don’t know in my room. For all I know the door was left wide open for passer bys to observe. I kept my eyes closed almost the whole time. They never told me to push or anything though, so I was confused. I didn’t know if there was a doctor there ready to catch the baby or not, because the last time I had opened my eyes I saw one doctor taking his robe and gloves off so a different doctor could put them on. I figured they weren’t ready, but Tate was. I asked them when I was supposed to push and they told me whenever you feel like it. Everything was so different from the last time I’d given birth.
But I was too afraid to push. The nurse finally told me next time I felt a contraction, she wanted me to take my hands off the rail and grab my legs to push. I really thought I was going to die if I let go of that rail. I finally opened my eyes again to look the nurse in the eyes and say, “I feel like I’m going to poo.” I’d heard that giving birth feels that way, but I was convinced that the doctor would not be catching a baby. She told me it was normal and to push. I suffered through another contraction before I reluctantly moved my hands to my legs. The next contraction came and I pushed, hard. I think the only reason I finally pushed was because the nurses told me it would help me feel better if I started pushing. Each push and contraction was accompanied by my shrill screams. (I was so embarrassed after.) I think it was the next contraction when I felt a little bit of relief, his head and a whole lot of fluid came out. Next push and out comes his body, and of course, more fluid. Dustin told me later that I splashed pretty good, even got my pillow. The doctor asked me if I wanted to open my eyes. I didn’t. I was too tired.
He was born at 5:50 pm. Six pounds, five ounces. 19 inches long.
They took him over to the side of the room to check him. Apparently they had to resuscitate him, he wasn’t breathing on his own. But, they got him breathing and he was a healthy baby! I finally opened my eyes to see Dustin. He had taken my phone to take some videos and pictures of Tate so I could see. Then they brought him to me all wrapped up and put him in my arms! I was so happy I got to hold my baby! We waited two days to hold Baylee, which for new parents feels like an eternity! I didn’t hold him for long though, I asked Dustin to take him because I was so shaky. I was afraid I was going to drop him or something I was trembling uncontrollably. I asked the nurse if I could get some sort of drugs now and she got me some right away, and water, and my Aunt Annie’s ring that fell off. She told us that the shakes were normal. Then I could hear crying in the hallway. Baylee had been screaming the whole time wanting, “A dad hold you!” Dustin called my mom and she was just outside the hospital. I got stitched up and then they let in grandma and Baylee. Baylee got to meet baby brother for the first time. It was fun to see. She was a little reserved, maybe unsure.
After things settled down in my room, Dustin said, “I’m surprised you didn’t swear.” I told him that I thought about it, but I really wanted to curse after it was all over. That was the weird part. But, I didn’t!
To sum up, I’ll never again labor at home! If I even think I’m having a contraction at all, we’re going to the hospital. We went from a five to a ten PLUS delivery in 20 minutes. I’m SO grateful that I made a bunch of phone calls beforehand to make sure I could deliver at the Provo hospital with my insurance. If we had had to go to Payson, we probably would’ve had a baby in the car or in the lobby. I’m so grateful that my mom’s California meeting that was scheduled before I was even pregnant was miraculously bumped up a week earlier. I’m also grateful that she chose to stay home from a reunion going on that weekend. I’m grateful Dustin didn’t go golfing. But ultimately, I think I’m grateful for the experience. I never would have chosen for myself to go natural. Now that I’ve been forced into it, I can say that I did it, and I survived. I don’t think I’d ever choose it again, but I might now that I’ve had a few months to forget the pain. Pros and cons both ways I feel. And I am ever grateful for a loving Father in Heaven to send us these beautiful spirits to look after. Tate was just the baby I needed right now, and Heavenly Father knew that. I love my family and I know that families are forever. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me, to an extent I can’t understand now, but he has given me an idea of how much by sending us His children.
Whoa, Rachel, you are tough, and I will make sure not to stick around at home wondering if I'm in labor...I want that epidural! :) Way to get through it all and have such a sweet little boy to match his big sister! :)
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